One week down...

Dear Sweetheart,

It has been one week today since your departure. I wish I could say that it has been easy to bounce back and that our lives have gotten right back to normal. But that would be a lie. Instead, I will be honest in saying that we all survived this week pretty well. That in itself, I believe, is an accomplishment.

Driving away and leaving you there was just about more than I could bear. I know without a doubt that God was with me because there is no way I am strong enough to leave you like that. It just hurts too much.

My first night alone in our bed was extremely hard, as it always is. I slept with your pillow hugged against me so that I could smell you as I fell asleep. I thought about you flying in your plane to that far away land and knew that your heart must be aching terribly for us too.

School and the kid's activities have helped the week pass pretty quickly. The nights are the hardest, though, after the kids have gone to bed and I am all alone. The hole left in my heart when you leave is indescribable. It is honestly like a piece of me is missing. Well meaning friends say to "keep busy" so that I won't miss you so much.

I have found that advice to be far from the truth for me. I find that my healing happens when I let myself sit in my pain for a little bit, rather than ignore it or try to redirect it somewhere else. As with all my trials, it brings me running to the feet of Him who knows me best. Not only that, it helps me truly appreciate how much you mean to me and what an important part of our family that you are. The wisdom learned in those two lessons alone far surpass the cost of the pain that I feel. It is well worth the price.

I know the weeks will pass and that our pain will not be as sharp. The first weeks are always the worst part of all. It's not that I miss you any less, I guess it's just that we get more used to our "new, temporary normal". As it always seems to do, life does go on.

So we will rejoice that you made it to your destination safely and that you are doing well there. We will rejoice in having communication with you there and look forward to every moment we can spend together - whether in voice or thought.

More than anything, we will praise God for you and ask God's constant provisions for you and all of our military members who are far from home.

Not a breath goes by without you in it.
All of my heart,
Love, M~